When women hear the words “self-care “ they may think that it means doing activities that tend to cost money like a spa day, taking a vacation, or treating themselves to a shopping spree. While it is completely ok for your self-care routine to include activities like these, a good self-care practice is not limited to doing one-time or occasional nice things for yourself that involve you spending money.
As a stay at home mom the idea of spending money on myself felt like a burden, I didn’t want to take away money from the family to splurge on myself. So for the longest time I just didn’t do anything because I felt guilty and told myself it was selfish to spend our family money on my “self-care”. Since I thought self care was only spending money I convinced myself it was something I could not have as part of my mom life . We will talk about the whole mom guilt story a different day. What I want to dive into today is that I didn’t really understand what self care looked like and that it wasn’t just a once in a while type thing but it was actually things I could do within our weekly routine that rejuvenated me.
Learning to implement a self care routine takes time as well as trial and error. So if you’re new to self care I want to share some helpful guidelines to help you get started and figure out a self routine that will serve you. Having a better understanding of what self care encompasses by these 4 Golden Rules of Self Care gives a deeper understanding so you can implement it into your busy mom life .
- Self- Care is a lifestyle: This means taking charge of your well being as a mom. I know it’s hard to hear the reality but things won’t change unless you decide you want them to change and take action. The fist step is deciding to make self-care a lifestyle. This means prioritizing and protecting your mental and emotional wellbeing in all aspects of your life. Self-care means “taking care of yourself” but of course doing so in a mentally healthy way that does not negatively affect others. When you begin to make your self care a priority it will positively impact your relationships with those closest to you as well as how you handle life’s circumstances.
- Self- Care is not Static : Your needs and desires will change as you move through different phases of motherhood and encounter new experiences. Self-care should not be thought of as a rigid list of dos and don’ts that you stick to for the rest of your life. Instead, self-care should be thought of as a collection of fluid principles and practices that adjust during your lifespan. It’s important to regularly evaluate these principles and practices, add new ones if need be, and remove or revise those that no longer serve your best interest.
- Self- Care can involve Elimination: Typically when we talk about implementing a self-care routine we think that means adding things to our lives that will increase our mental wellness such as, starting a regular exercise routine, drinking more water or a better sleep routine. Yes I think self-care can absolutely involve introducing new habits into your life. I want to say that it also can include eliminating … such as stepping away from emotionally toxic people, practices in your life. For me personally I’m particular on who I spend majority of my time with … I choose to be around people who have a positive influence on my and my families lives. I’m intentional with the music I listen to and the shows I watch. What we surround ourselves with is what we become so choose wisely.
- Self-care should not be Compared: We all have our own unique journey when it comes to self care. What works for one person may not suit you. So lean into your own desires and follow what fills your cup not what you think you should be doing because it’s trendy or works for other moms. It’s important to Identify what your needs are and craft a self-care practice that is reflective of you.
🍃Self care is not a one size fits all type of practice so by understanding the 4 Golden Rules you can gain a deeper understanding on what a self care practice is. Using it as a guideline will help you get started in figuring out a self care routine that is unique to you and fulfilling. Remember it’s not a one time thing… this should become part of your lifestyle making it easier to commit and follow through on. I always encourage moms to start slow … give yourself grace as you Implement new practices and take time to sit and get honest to what you may need to remove from your current life to truly serve your mental and emotional needs.