According to research, the average person has approximately 6,000 thoughts per day! Now many of these thoughts are repetitive through out the day or thoughts that have come up in prior days and 75% of our thoughts are actually negative thoughts.
I want to spend a hot min on negative thoughts because they tend to come up often!
We are naturally inclined to think negatively and this is called the negativity bias. We have the negativity bias because it was passed down from our ancestors. They needed it in order to survive. Life was different and they were faced with more dangerous situations, think hunter gatherer years. They needed to be on guard to protect themselves. Now our body doesn’t necessarily need this in today’s day and age yet we still have it programmed in us so this is something we all experience.
Not only are we naturally negative because of the negativity bias but many of our negative thoughts are driven by the fight or flight response in our brains. When a perceived threat arises, the amygdala is activated, releasing stress hormones that put the body on high alert, which can lead to a biased interpretation of information towards negativity. When your body is in fight or flight mode, the prefrontal cortex, responsible for rational thinking and decision-making, can become less active, making it harder to counter negative thoughts with logic! When this part of our brain is activated we are more likely to remember negative experiences more vividly, which then reinforces our negative thought patterns.
I want to bring awareness to these thoughts…..if we accept a negative thought and become emotionally involved in that negative thought.. your feeling bad .. that sends signals to your brain putting your body in the negative polarity leading you to negative results, attitude or perspective on things.
Now that we are reassured we aren’t crazy when we get in those mom funks when life just feels hard and overwhelming leading you to become agitated, stressed or even depressed. These negative thoughts aren’t our fault, they are literally your body’s natural response. So I want to remind you, don’t be hard on yourself, we have all been there. No mom is perfect we all have moments that we yell at our kids or make a bigger deal out of something that shouldn’t have upset us the way it did.
There are a few things we can do that help us when we find ourselves caught up in thoughts that don’t make us feel good
🍃Awareness– Many of you can agree that we tend to focus on the way we feel rather than the way we think. Today I want us to bring our attention to our thoughts. Romans 12:2 reminds us that “Do not be conformed by the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what Gods will is, his good, pleasing and perfect will”. So first if we want to change the way we think we have to bring awareness to what we’re focusing on . So, if you focus on the negative you get more negative if you focus on the positive you’ll get more positivity in life ……Where you focus is where you will go! So really get honest with yourself and notice your thought patterns. I find it helpful to keep a journal so I can brain dump my thoughts. Seeing them on paper helps to easily identify common thoughts I have and if I tend to focus more on positive or negative thoughts. By journaling on a regular basis you’ll notice if the same thoughts come up often and that will give you an opportunity to evaluate them.
🍃Evaluate your thoughts – When thoughts come up it can be helpful to pause and evaluate them and ask yourself Is there truth behind these thoughts.
Take for example the thought “I’m a bad mom” if you were to ask someone you know well if they would agree with that statement??? Would they agree ?? Probably not? So why are we believing something that’s not true and getting emotionally involved in that idea.
A good visual I heard one time was to picture you mind like a closet full of clothes. We have to go through our closet every so often and sort through our clothes. We also need to do this with our minds. Go item by item and evaluate it like you would with each piece of clothing .. hold it up and look at.. ask yourself do I like it, does it make me feel good or is it time to toss it and get something new.
Basically what you can do is make a list of each thought and then ask yourself does thinking this make me feel good or bad, is it true, does this thought serve me anymore, is it time to replace it with a new thought that serves me better.
When we look at each thought and name the lies it can be helpful to Write out each lie so then you go through and name your truth.
God wants to replace those lies with His truth.
🍃Lastly to interrupt our thoughts we can seek Gods truth… write your thoughts out and then ask God to reveal his truth about that thought. In Hebrews 4:12-13 it says “12 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”God meets us in His Word and the Holy Spirit works powerfully through the word of God. Let Gods word, his truth unburden you from your thoughts and Reveal his truth. Often as moms we can find ourselves going down a negative spiral when we get caught up in our thoughts. We can convince ourselves we are a bad mom, that we are messing up our kids, that we are not worthy to be loved by our children or even by God. When you find yourself in a low place, when your thoughts are taking over seek him and his word. In those moments when we bring ourselves to God and open up he will bring truth, comfort and ultimately peace.
🍃Your mindset and your thoughts should be a priority in your motherhood journey!
Why ??? Because your thoughts create your reality and affect how you show up as a mom. “When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change” ( Wayne Dyer ) Your thoughts change your perception of your life and of the world. Acknowledging our thoughts can give us perspective on the thoughts that may be troubling us. I want to EMPHASIZE the importance here of acknowledging and bringing awareness to our thoughts rather than stuffing them down. I know it’s not always fun to deal with the messy stuff in life but avoiding dealing with our thoughts isn’t healthy. Ultimately our goals as moms is to live like Christ, modeling to our children the way of life as a believer and it’s hard to be that mom if we burry our thoughts and feelings. Bring them to God, he will help you make sense of things and point you to the path he has planned for you. He loves you where you’re at so bring your messy mom life moments to him and rest in his presence.
🍃One of my favorite books Atomic Habits author (James Clear) says “Every action you take is a vote towards the person you want to become”
I’ll be honest I was very critical and not kind to myself in my thoughts I put myself down and told myself negative things and believed they were true .. but now I’ve gained awareness and am more careful of what I think and say. Im still a work in progress but I’m definitely moving in the right direction in becoming the daughter in Christ and mom I want to be. You don’t have to do a 180 and completely change your life overnight. Start small but the biggest step is deciding to take action towards becoming the person you want to be. Remember ultimately you decided how you want to think and feel. So if you’re tired of showing up a certain way make that commitment to yourself that you will live differently. Then seek God, immerse yourself in his word, go to him through prayer ask him to reveal what’s in your mind and heart and allow the holy spirt to transform you from the inside out. We can’t just change our habits or thoughts we need God to meet us where we are at and work in and through us to see and be the change we desire.
🍃I’ll leave you with this one final passage of scripture these verses tell us what to focus on when it comes to our thoughts. “Think about such things “
Philippians 4:8-9 “8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”
Shift your thoughts to gratitude, focus on who God is and put your trust in him and The God of peace will be with you ❤️❤️❤️