Picture this … Your child’s coach sees you at the game and runs over … “ Hey Sarah our fundraiser bake sale is this weekend and only 1 mom volunteered to bring baked goods we were counting on this fundraiser for the team to get new equipment. Could you please bring some baked goods Saturday!!! Mom guilt hits ! It’s Thursday night and you say …”Yea no problem I’ll have cupcakes ready to go Saturday morning” …. Even though in your head you know you have a Doctors appointment tomorrow morning … your brother’s family is coming over for dinner that night and your living room is filled with laundry that still needs to get folded!
Your best friend calls complaining how the sitter bailed on them again and it’s been months since her and her husband have had a date night and their marriage is in such a rocky place … you find yourself instantly saying bring the kids over I’ll watch them even though you are extremely sleep deprived and haven’t had a date night yourself in months!
Your 10 year old comes running to you. … MOM I NEED HELP figuring out this lesson I don’t understand what I’m doing!!! … … the baby is crying and your in the middle of getting lunch prepared yet you look at their upset face and feel bad they are frustrated so even though your already overwhelmed you say … sure honey bring it here let’s figure this out together.
Your boss calls you and says they are short staffed this week and asks you to pick up another shift … you already put in more then 40 hours yet you feel bad that staff is short and know no one else will pick up the shifts so you agree to taking on more hours.
Can you relate to any of these scenarios or something similar ?
Inside we are cringing we really don’t want to do something yet we find ourselves caving more times then not saying “yes” when we should have said “no”. Why do we do this to ourselves… well the expectations we put on ourselves or attachments we have around the word No …..so we say yes as our escape route from uncomfortable conversations… judgement… or out of guilt and even sometimes out of desire.
When we bring awareness and understanding to the things we do it can help us shift our mindset and form new habits that align with our goals and vision for ourselves and our family.
So today I wanted to share these internal and external factors that often lead us to saying yes instead of No ….
1.Sense of Responsibility: Moms often feel a deep sense of responsibility for their family’s well-being and happiness. They may prioritize their children’s needs and wants above their own, making it challenging to refuse requests or tasks.
2.Guilt: There can be a persuasive feeling of guilt associated with saying no. Moms may worry about disappointing their children, partner, or others who rely on them. This guilt can make them reluctant to decline requests, even when they know they are already stretched thin.
3.Desire for Approval: Moms may seek approval from their family or peers. They want to be seen as capable, reliable, and supportive, which can lead them to take on more than they can handle.
4.Difficulty Setting Boundaries: Setting and enforcing boundaries is crucial for managing time and stress effectively. However, many moms find it challenging to establish these boundaries due to fear of conflict or feelings of obligation.
5.Perception of Self-Worth: Some moms may tie their self-worth to how much they do for others. This can create a cycle where they continually say yes to avoid feeling inadequate or unappreciated.
6.Cultural and Social Expectations: Societal expectations and cultural norms often place a heavy burden on moms to be nurturing, self-sacrificing, and always available. These expectations can influence their behavior and make it harder to decline requests.
🍃Seeking Slowness , Rest and not always saying “yes” has been on my heart lately and something I’m personally working towards.
Stepping back from things that add stress to life .. allowing myself to not feel guilty saying “no” to doing things and learning to not put so much pressure on myself has been a step in the right direction! If I can make these changes I know you can too. I’m here for you if need support and encouragement ⬇️comment below “support” and I will personally connect with you to help you achieve more balance in mom life.
🍃I completely understand how Saying “no” can be emotionally and psychologically complex for moms because we’re influenced by a range of internal and external pressures. Yet learning to prioritize your own well-being and setting boundaries is essential for maintaining balance and reducing stress in mom life!
🍃Here’s my reminder mommas that it’s ok to say “No”! Saying no is a form of self care 💕protect your self from burn out and lean into those inner desires for more peace and balance.
🍃So are there things you are laying down and letting go of to create more peace in your life ? What are you no longer saying yes to ?